Pre-newsletter small font editors note. Most games from this week haven't uploaded yet. Yes it SUCKS because everyone loves watching them. It also sucks uploading them and having it corrupted/canceled after the hours-long process finishes. I'm buying better software to get it done quicker/smoother. Also take a look at the end of the newsletter because we have cool shit coming for GOTW and analytics.
This past Sunday kicked off our first week of games at the new Waymer Park Hockey Rink and oh man was it awesome. There’s tons of space, passing lanes open all over and short enough for snipers to score from everywhere. We also saw the dreaded corner and fence battles taken completely out of play which led to a much cleaner slate of games, which we know head referee Allan will be happy to hear. Speaking of Allan, we would like to congratulate him on becoming CSHL INSIDER’s first non-player Player of the Week!
Head ref on vacation, new rink with adjusted rules, what an adventure. As usual, Chris Ward was hit in the face with a stick, and the refs (shoutout PMart) missed it, but not the entire call this time. The current CSHL rule is that if a player lifts an opponent's stick above their head, it's a MAJOR penalty which is 2 minutes + a penalty shot. The Mighty Mullet Men were only awarded a minor advantage this time which didn’t make a difference at the end of their 5-2 victory but this will be a point of emphasis moving forward.
A second missed call from this game was Mike Campbell clearing the ball out from his defensive zone over the benches & also out of the playing area. Commissioner Tom Ward somehow forgot he’s not the assistant referee and corrected the call saying it was in the neutral zone, however, it was behind the defensive blue line.
COO Bobby Arkus was redeemed again, first on the JY week one fugazzi goal, and now this. Let’s see if he was correct on a third 50/50 call later in the day..
GAME ONE: Huntersville Hooligans 2 at Fridge Raiders 1
Our first game at the new Waymer Rink was back and forth for 24 minutes with the Hooligans firepower taking advantage over Cale's heroics in net for the Fridge Raiders. The first goal in Waymer Rink history goes to CSHL newcomer Zack McKenna, a superstar who tilts the ice in his team's favor every game. It’s beautiful that CSHL’s potentially most talented player beat our best goalie who delivered the Queen City Crowns the 2022 Mylec Cup for the first goal.
Note: Both teams were short handed this week as captains James Forbes & Eric LeVigne decided to miss this game, Forbes to play in the NBHL’s Mylec Cup with the Mass Vengeance and LeVigne for crushing Jake Cuomo into the fence.
“I didn’t draft anybody, the mullet did. You don’t choose the mullet, the mullet chooses you.” - Jack Ingalls, Captain of the Mighty Mullet Men
Complete ass kicking. A game that was close for a period got out of hand quickly as the Mullet’s forecheck once again was too much for the Wieners to handle, making this series 11-1 on the season. Helsinki had 3 points, Jeremy, Jack & Byrnes had 2, and Sernus chipped in as usual. No comment on if Ward cost Pete his first point of the season by hitting Danny’s foot and post with a deflection/rebound chance in the 2nd.
We asked HWIC Jim Bateman a couple of questions about jump starting the Wieners season:
Wieners started the season a little limp, any concern on your end?
“No concerns yet. We need to get the new, young guys going. They’re new to the league and new to the intensity the league brings compared to pickup. Also, we’ve been missing Fort Knox, so having a defenseman back there that is willing to muck it up, will certainly be a game changer.”
What’s the plan to turn things around?
“We have some ideas on how to change up our looks to help better suit our players but ultimately, we plan on just keep ripping them. They’ll go in.”
Editor’s note: Mullet Men goalie David Gonzalves was last season’s MVG for the Waymer Wieners and recorded a shutout in his first start of the season. No word if Bateman regrets going Danny over David…
GAME THREE: JJ’s Bombers 2 at Huntersville Hooligans 5
He’s real, and he’s spectacular.
This is the game we were waiting for from Zach McKenna. 4 goals, another 5-6 close chances, and his first CSHL A-League Player of the Week Award. This was a complete domination of the Bombers, who were missing 1.01 pick & CSHL CEO Josh Greco on the day. An anonymous source had this to say about his absence:
“To see the first overall pick choose New Jersey of all places over the opening of the new rink is disappointing. I mean, nothing good has happened in New Jersey since The Sopranos (editor capitalized out of respect) ended. It’s really a shame, and it seems to fit a pattern of Campbell’s teams and how he drafts. Guys always been a predictable drafter and again failed to find reliability. He’s really just a terrible player, terrible captain. Who keeps picking him to do this. and And Greco is a terrible guy. Didn’t see him skipping games for other teams in years past. Just a disaster already over there.”
The one good pick Campbell did have was Caleb Brownlow who is on the all-steals team with pick 2.05 in the CSHL draft. Caleb is sitting at 6 assists for the season and is tied for second in the first annual Red Clay Ciderworks Apple Leader Award, given to the player in A & B league with the most assists on the season. Unlike the B Division, the Waymer Sports Bureau has confirmed Caleb is old enough to accept this recognition. Defenseman Frank Lozzi is in contention as well with 6 apples of his own, and his plan to “pass the ball to Forbes and Zach” is a smart one. Graduating youth prospect and Charlotte Rise player Jayden Steckler had his first goal of the season finishing with two points on the day.
GOALIE ASSIST. Danny MacMahon not only broke the net in his first game of the day, but he broke the CSHL goalie scoring drought as he assisted Jon Hotchner’s goal in the first period of this game. That was their only goal of the day however the Wieners second game produced a significant increase of chances over their previous match. Sean Byrnes scored to give the Byrnes brothers a combined 5 on the day and Prusia shook the net for his first of the season.
Today was the Fridge Raiders team we expected at the start of the season. Elite goaltending, winning 50/50 balls, having a chance late in every game. Will the full roster be available for the playoffs? Let’s see what unfolds over the next few weeks.
GAME FIVE: Mighty Mullet Men 5 at JJ’s Bombers 2
IT WAS ALWAYS THE MULLET MEN. This game actually got close with the Bombers reducing a 3-0 lead to one goal after the Mullets jumped out with early momentum. In a game where 50/50 calls seemed to go the Mullet’s way it was actually the opposite. Campbell’s team were saved a penalty shot and two minors by the stripes because of missed calls and rule confusion. It didn’t matter in the end as the Helinski/Hotchner pairing decided they are the best line in hockey with 6 points combined. We know Jim Bateman and the Wiener’s wish they carried that length. Caleb had two more assists because he's just going to keep getting assists with the space available, and hopefully Greco’s return brings this team back to their full potential.
B-League.. Oh boy. Listen, as a first-hand lazy B Division forward (and ex MVP not to brag just stating the facts), I understand being a little lax coming back on defense, but this was out of control. On the tennis court, we typically say two setups in B:
The forwards guard each point with the two defensemen fighting low to gain possession and dump.
A diamond with the third forward coming low and one d solely guarding the points/top point.
Well switching to 5v5 completely took speed out of the game and made this a straight counter-offensive action, which in turn, left the defenses out to dry. Every single counter-attack was a 3 on 2…except for the ones that were 4v2. We asked High Voltage stars Nick Severins and Brad McLane their thoughts on the offensive help this past weekend:
We’ll ask again next weekend as this wasn’t the intended result. I spoke about this with NorMonsters Captain Brandon Brownlow before the season and we both agreed that there would be a SIGNIFICANT uptick in goals and shocker, we were correct.
GAME SIX: Charlottans 1 at NorMonsters 9
At least Charlottans Captain Joe P didn’t have to watch this one because buddy it wasn’t pretty. From play one the Charlottans defense decided to guard everyone else besides Brandon Brownlow and guess what? Terrible idea. Can’t believe I’m saying this but Brownlow “only” had 2 goals in the game as Kendall Kerr and Winter 2023 linemate Erik May combined for 5 goals. This was May’s first game of the season and he may have potentially been cheating with 4 points but Allan wasn’t there so CSHLInsider let it slide. Hill, Sheridan and Brownlow are legit A-League snipers and it’s insane they have Kendall patrolling the net with Erik, let’s see if any other team in their division can keep up.
GAME SEVEN: Waymer Cowbell 1 at High Voltage 1
A defensive matchup!! The High Voltage Defense kept this in check as their defensive core kept pressure away from goalie Josh Cummings. We're calling this the oldest average-aged goal in CSHL game history at 57.5 and hopefully both will still be alive to see the next time this record gets challenged. Nappy played amazingly to keep this game at a 1-1 draw.
GAME EIGHT: Charlottans 4 at Waymer Cowbell 3
We aren’t exactly sure if this was 4-2 or 4-2 due to a mishap by scorekeepers Jayden Steckler and Colin Barrier at the end of the third. A no call followed by a Mike Steckler shot may…or may not have cut the deficit by one before time ran out. The most important stat of this game was Jeff Kennedy getting on the board as the Charlottans REALLY need his offense to make a playoff push this eason. We’d also like to congratulate Goalie Carson Philemon on his first victory in CSHL league play! Carson has a huge (height not girth) body and has made vast improvements in play from the summer pickups and we’re excited to see him climb up the goalie rankings in future seasons. Once he figures out rebound control and how to use his size effectively Carson will be a force in CSHL for years to come.
GAME NINE: High Voltage 2 at NorMonsters 6
This was a close game for a bit, but in the end the High Voltage defense was left out to dry. We haven’t spoken about this much but Marquis Guia is one of the best 5-7 defensemen in this division, and him paired with McLane, Severins and sometimes Carriero (when he plays D) is an extremely talented quartet…………………..and yet when they get completely left out to dry there's no chance this team can win a championship. Late goals showed 4 on 2s with all three forwards in the offensive zone and that just can't happen to a team of this caliber. The formula should be simple: If a forward comes back to cover the slot and help a breakout, their D is strong enough to keep possession in the zone. Big shock for the NorMonsters, Brownlow, Hill, Kendall, May, Sheridan scored. Never saw that coming. Erik May finished with 7 points in his first two games of the season earning himself CSHL Insider's B-League Player of the Week!
Check out photos from our previous week's action here by CSHL Director of Photography Brandon Brownlow:
Week 1 - Coming Soon
CSHL CONTENT UPDATES
We would love to welcome Nick Petrini & Kevin Worters to CSHL's content committee where they will be working on the following:
Petrini - Producing a "CSHL Game of the Week" that will go up on different social platforms.
Worters - Head of Analytics. This will be really freaking cool, more to come!
Comments